Identifying Personal Core Values

Identifying Personal Core Values

Identifying Personal Core Values

Identifying Personal Core Values

What Are Your Core Values?

Your core values are principles or a belief that is of critical importance to your life. You need to identify them because when you acknowledge them they can guide you. Adhering to these core values will dictate the way you behave in every aspect of your life. Not defining them will in the long term have an adverse effect on your life. Defining them in this way is defining the positive aspects of core values

Examples of core values are things such as


Of course, some core values can be detrimental. When you define your negative core values, you can change them. Examples of negative core values are only the strong will survive. You may believe that you are powerless to change your circumstances. Because of your upbringing, you may think that you don’t deserve good things in life. You may believe that people are grasping or untrustworthy. You may even think that your life is worthless.

Negative belief systems are no more permanent than positive belief systems. By becoming aware of the ideas in your head that become thoughts, you can change the way you think.

In conclusion, our core values highlight what is important to us and what we stand for. It is essential that we isolate and stand by these principles. When we don’t, we find ourselves overwhelmed in many different ways. Some people will display neurotic or compulsive behaviors. They are driven to do things all the time whether it be work or play. They are addicted to many things, food, drink, social media, their cell phone etcetera

Many people fear that if they stop they will have to think about and examine where they are in their lives. When you don’t identify your core beliefs, you coast through life and flounder rather than flourish. A diminished self worth is not uncommon.

Are Core Values Different From Society’s Values?

Yes, they are very different. Society’s values are defined by what is beneficial to your culture rather than helpful to you as an individual person. For instance, cultural values may include power, money or success.

While these things may be necessary to you, they don’t define who you really are. Chasing external power will prevent you from growing as an individual. Your individual core values will allow you to improve and achieve anything that you want.

Power in society’s terms comes from external forces such as being a local councilor, being a judge or any other paid or unpaid position that theoretically gives you status.

You cannot find your core values in anything that society teaches you. Neither St George nor the Dragon holds the key. The answer is within yourself. Only you can find it!

By the time you have defined your core values, you will not have reached the end of your journey. Hopefully, the process will have changed you. You will enter uncharted territory. It will, however, be your territory. This is your story and no one else’s.

How to Define Your Core Values

Look at the list of core values below. They are under headings. The more deeply you think about what these words mean to you, the better it will be. This exercise aims to isolate the three values that you want to live by.



Common sense


Emotional Intelligence



Hard work







Open Mindedness


Risk Taking








These are not values that you would like to live by, and they are values that are fundamental to your very existence. It is crucial that you choose the correct values because these are the values you will live by. You will struggle and find it difficult if they really are not your beliefs.

The first step to defining personal core values. It goes without saying that these words are merely a guideline. You are entirely at liberty to reduce them or add to them or change them. Don’t forget they are your personal core values and they must resonate with you, not with anyone else.

Write down a minimum of 10 of these words and a maximum of 20. Next, to it write down how important they are to you. Write it down on a scale of 1 to 10. The number one is the least important and the number 10 is the most important.

In the third column write down how difficult you will find it to live by these words. Again writing a one will mean it will be relatively easy, but 10 means living by this value could be difficult.

In the fourth column write down how much you practice this trait every day as a matter of course.

Tomorrow we will talk about refining this list down to a shorter list of five and then to a core list of three.

Born Free

Born Free

Born Free

“Man is born free, and everywhere he is in chains”
Jean Jacques Rousseau

My freedom can never be the same as your freedom. But the essence of freedom is a universal truth. If you can live free, then you can learn to experience life fully.

Freedom is full of surprises. Laughter bubbles up inside of you spontaneously and for absolutely no reason. You can dare to say what you think and what you feel honestly. At the same time, you are not afraid of listening to other people who think differently.

Listening to the views of people who think differently from yourself doesn’t threaten your security. This is because you are secure enough and authentic enough to know what your own core beliefs are and you stick with them.

One thing that freedom has brought for me is the fact that I can live in the universe and trust in myself, even though I may not understand either.

I don’t have to conform to other people’s rules. Security in myself allows me to make my own rules. The power to live free has freed me from the addiction of alcohol. Also as I continue my spiritual journey, it has become more important what I eat.


Eating Clean Is a Liberating Experience


For the last month or so I have transferred my diet to raw food. Most days I eat hundred percent raw. Yesterday, it was freezing, and I felt the need for hot food. I had the usual raw breakfast, raw lunch and a huge raw salad for dinner. I also had a three egg mushroom omelet.

Still it was clean food and also avoiding carbohydrates except those found in fruit and veg. I no longer eat potatoes, pasta, bread, rice. This cleaner food has improved my spiritual connection. I have also made every day some alkaline water. I add fresh organic lemons and lime to tap water which has been boiled and cooled. Then I add 1/2 an organic cucumber peeled and handfuls of fresh herbs. Any soft herb will work well.

Liberation does give you more challenges. That might seem a bit of double edge sword. Greater synchronicity is an advantage, and it makes it easier to follow your path and your life’s purpose. Without this knowledge from synchronicity, it is all so easy to follow your shadow life. On the other hand, there are more challenges because you want to achieve. My eyes are now open opened to what I can achieve what I want to achieve. I have now to overcome the challenges to make this a reality.


The Choices


The choices that I have made towards freedom of thought have resulted in personal growth. A conscious effort towards expanding our outlook on life requires a clear conception of who we are and what we want.

Some people understand personal growth as more time to pursue their own interests and live life as they see fit. Fortunately, I have done that all my life so that was not my challenge.

I wanted to understand myself better. It was important to me to be authentic to my true self and find out my core values.

I also wanted to expand my consciousness. I wanted to be a channel for higher energies. I also wanted to understand more fully my life’s purpose. To do that I had to connect with myself.

When I was ready to do these things it was strange how easy it was to do. It was hard to believe how fear and complacency could hold me back for so long.

In the end, my desire to prove I had a new identity as a widow, rather than a wife drove me forward. I wanted to contribute something of value to other people.

Appreciation and Joy

Living free has given me a sense that I can give things away and appreciate things. A few days ago I was walking home with a bunch of flowers. It wasn’t a large bunch. It was for a small arrangement. The colors were magnificent a deep red. A little girl of about eight stopped me and said: “your flowers are beautiful.” I asked if she really thought so and she said yes. So, I gave them to her.

She looked delighted, but her mother looked embarrassed. She said to me that the child didn’t mean she wanted them. I laughed and said, “that doesn’t mean she can’t have them.”

I knew that by the very act of giving I would have more things given to me. It’s an acknowledgment that the universe will provide everything I need in life. A random act of kindness gave me great joy.

Learning to live free is starting to give me more balance in my life. It has increased synchronicity so that I know what I want to do. Eventually it will in time give me more confidence, happiness, and success.

It will also give me some conflict. I know that when those adverse situations occur, I will have to make a choice. I will have to decide whether to go along on my chosen path or whether to reassess the situation. Either way, I am in control. It is my choice when I decide to do.

The Driving Forces

What drives me to do this is the fact that since being widowed I have become very insular. I am sure that this is a normal part of grieving. However, in my case, it has meant days if not weeks isolated and alone. I haven’t minded this at all! In fact, I’ve enjoyed it, but eventually, my outward circumstances must change.

Tomorrow I will discuss how to define your core values so that you can change the way you think and learn to live freely. It will be a challenge, but you will find it in the long term highly rewarding. You will find peace and contentment that you hadn’t realized was missing from your life.

Living Free For Growth

Living Free For Growth

What Living Free Means

When I was younger I thought living free meant living in a country with an elected government, the freedom to be free to speak your mind. The freedom to have a passport as of right, and the freedom to travel wherever and whenever you wanted to. There was a bit more to it than that, but I was thinking along those lines. The concept of Living Free For Growth, never entered my mind

Today, I realize that those definitions of living free are external freedoms. That realization led to a quest for inner freedom, this journey began three years ago. In the process, I have become liberated from self-doubt and fear. I do appreciate it is still a work in progress, but most of the time I enjoy that inner freedom. I am learning to trust my inner voice and my instincts and just be.

The rare times that fear does grip me, I am in a much better placed to deal with it. I can immediately change the way I think. That in itself was so liberating.


The results

Three fabulous results have come about with this work, and that is in no particular order-

Compassion – An increased compassion for everything.

Understanding what really frightens me.more of this later

Personal growth

Freedom for me now is not an ideal it is a living experience and a living journey. The quantum leap to freedom didn’t happen accidentally.

First of all, I practiced meditating daily every morning and every evening. From the very beginning of my journey, I managed to manifest the best people to help me. That made things a lot easier. None the less it was a steep learning curve, and I had to quickly and accurately what was true and what wasn’t.

Gradually my meditation techniques got better and after a year or maybe more, the synchronicity started to happen, My journey has not been linear it has involved steps forward and back. Only last week I had a breakthrough, a quantum leap into the world the other side of the veil.

One thing which always managed to elude me was what I was most afraid of? I looked and searched inside myself to no avail. That question cost me so much pain and angst I couldn’t believe it. Nor could I understand why I couldn’t uncover it. Then like all breakthroughs the answer came like a bolt out of the blue. No pain, no tension no struggle, just the answer.

The answer was so deceptively simple. I could not for the life of me understand why it had caused me so much pain and fear.

What Was I So Afraid Of?

Believe it or not, I was afraid of my potential. Not even fulfilling my potential just my potential.

As always with these breakthroughs, the universe conspires to give you the answer when you are ready. To be truthful I think it’s ready to give it to you all along, but you are not ready to receive it. However, when it does deliver, it knocks the door down.

Firstly I met Pamela Aaralyn in London a few weeks ago, and she recommended that we sing the ho’oponopono. I had always said it but never sung it. I tried to sing it, but I found I couldn’t make a note. The reasons why you can read in the next few paragraphs

Secondly, I met a new lady at my Saturday morning meditation classes. After class, we were talking about a few of us going to choir practice to learn to sing. I happened to say that I was asked to stop singing in school when I was about 11. The singing teacher told me to mime and never as long as I lived to sing another note.

F, the new lady said that as I was telling her the story she had a vision in her head of a jealous teacher. She could not bear the joy in my voice and shut me up!

A few days later I had a health kinesiology session with my teacher, and I had no specific issue to work on. She said we will work out what the body wants to work on, and there is always something to work on.

It turned out that the issue I needed to correct was “having no voice” I had several corrections to make one of them involved putting magnets on my throat. The process unusually for health kinesiology was extremely uncomfortable. I can’t say it was painful, but it did feel bizarre and uncomfortable.

The Breakthrough

So it was after these three events that the blinding flash of honesty about what frightened me came to light.

Don’t despair if you are working toward spiritual enlightenment. It doesn’t happen overnight it happens with practice. The critical thing to realize is to set aside the time to practice your meditation. None of us are born with the ability to shut down our thoughts for half an hour at a time, or more.

The only way we can really find out about ourselves is to go through this introspection. The answer will be different for all of us in the process will not be the same for any of this. Nonetheless, as a rough guide, the same principles apply to all. You need to look inwards and find your own truths!

I’m not too Into routines of having to do things the same way blah de blah, rituals are part of the programming. They don’t help!

Be Authentic

One thing I have learned you have to trust yourself to be able to answer what you need. To do that you need 1st to look inside yourself and see where your feelings and emotions are coming from. After that, you have to learn to control those thoughts.

By controlling the ideas that you have in your head and reducing the number of negative things that you say to yourself. Words like won’t, can’t, shan’t et cetera. Once you have control of these words and think more positive words, then you change your emotions.

You don’t have to be on a spiritual journey to understand this! Although I guess if you’re reading this far into my blog you have been reading for some time and are on a spiritual journey. You know that when you cry with sadness, you feel very heavy. It makes your eyes ache in your head thump. When you are laughing, or that is still giggling you feel light. It’s the same principle here change the way you think and looks inside, and eventually, you will learn and earn the freedom to live life on your own terms.

Taking Responsibility Exercises

Taking Responsibility Exercises

The Reality

Everything we have thought about in our head becomes our reality. We have created everything around us. Every tiny idea sets a seed in our head. When we have enough of these seeds, it becomes a thought. When we think about something, we begin the process of creation. We attract to us the things we most think about. When you think about reality in these terms, the idea of taking responsibility exercises becomes more critical.

As a result of this the things we manifest ours, we must own them and take responsibility for them. Whatever you continue to give your attention to will become real. So taking personal responsibility for everything we do in life is vitally important.

The English living dictionary defines responsibility as

1. The state or fact of having a duty to deal with something or of having control over someone.The state of being the person that caused things to happen.

‘a true leader takes responsibility for their team and helps them achieve goals’

Taking Responsibility Exercises and Examples
‘I make the effort, not only to recycle but to take responsibility for the waste my home produces.’
‘The more we take responsibility for our energy, the more empowered and productive we become.’
‘The pilot in command bears ultimate responsibility for his own safety.’
‘And, if we deal with reality, scholars must take responsibility for theories.’
‘The entire community has to take responsibility for preventing and dealing with victimization.’
‘So, therefore, we have to take responsibility for controlling those powers we develop.’
‘Fellow climbers offer limited help, but no one is prepared to take responsibility for his life.’
‘I’m sure it’s possible for us as a species to take responsibility for our own waste products.’
‘There was a lack of creativity and a lack of taking responsibility on our part, ” Christie said.’

2. The state or fact of being accountable or to blame for something.
‘the group has claimed responsibility for a string of murders’

2.1 Responsibility to/towards in singular A moral obligation to behave correctly towards or in respect of.
‘individuals have a responsibility to control their behavior.’

In terms of manifesting the life you want the first definition is important
“the state of being the person who caused something to happen.”

All of the definitions of responsibility are just about tasks and jobs. The world responsibility consists of two words – responsible and ability. In this sensibility means being able. So being responsible is your ability to respond to events and situations in your life. So again we come back to the choice you have the choice to choose your response.

Letting go of your attachment to something will often mean it simply disappears out of your life. This works with emotions you replace anger with forgiveness and anger will simply disappear. Funnily enough, if you are particularly angry at the person and forget them, then they often disappear with the emotion.

You choose how you respond to things. You can discuss the situation with friends to create an emotional response. You can post the event social media. You can keep feeding it positive energy to make it grow in abundance.

The above examples of taking responsibility exercises are all about positive things. Negative things also happen. You can feed them negative energies so that they grow in darkness and become more poisonous and toxic. Or you can take responsibility and let the emotion go.

In the end, only you are responsible. You can’t blame your God, your social class, your parents, your partner, your children, your boss or infect anyone else. You are the one who created the experience, and you are the one that will enjoy the results. You are the only one who can change things. If you want to change the external realities in your life, you have to change the inner realities in the way you think.

The most important thing the in taking responsibility exercise is being grateful. Be thankful for the beautiful things the universe is already giving you. This creates a loop to provide you with more of the same. On the other hand, you can exercise responsibility to be more negative and beat yourself up and bring more darkness into your life.

When we take responsibility for our lives that we make a conscious choice to direct our future how we want it to play out. We become active co-creators in our world.

The end result of taking responsibility is we bring balance into our lives. You may notice reflecting on your own lives that we sabotage things to bring balance.

An example here you are attending a family Sunday lunch. You are very close to your family and everyone has brought their favorite dish to share. There is a lot of laughter and a lot of joy around the table. Funny and happy memories of being brought up in the conversation. You are watching some of the adults holding hands, sharing a kiss or just smiling at each other. The room is full of joy and laughter.

Suddenly, you think about tomorrow’s work. You are having a review of work and it occurs to you that you may lose your job.

Suddenly the bubble of joy bursts! You fear for the future.

Once the state is in good we are thinking about an outside circumstance we can’t control. We fear the fact that we can’t control it. And this throws is out of balance.

We can never take The stress of external circumstances but what we can do is to control our circumstances from the inside.
taking responsibility exercises
To achieve balance in life we must concentrate on the factors we can control. Being aware of our core values which we talked about yesterday helps here. Identifying our core values helps us from straying from what’s important to us. Adhering to our core values is one way of taking responsibility for our life. Again it is our choice whether we bring peace and harmony and balance into our lives or whether we hold onto fear.

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Core Value Examples Help Us To Grow

Core Value Examples Help Us To Grow

Do You Know What You Believe In?

Do you know who you really are?

You can’t have any self-growth in your life without an element of self-knowledge. Knowing what makes you tick, how your thoughts and feelings come about and how they affect your behavior. Knowing your self, helps you to understand what drives you, it allows you to align yourself to your personal values.

Daniel Kahneman in his book “thinking, fast and slow” points out he still has the same thoughts he had before he began studying human behavior.

Except for some effects that I attribute mostly to age, my intuitive thinking is just as prone to overconfidence, extreme predictions, and the planning fallacy as it was before I made a study of these issues. I have improved only in my ability to recognize situations in which errors are likely….And I have made much more progress in recognizing the errors of others than my own.

The process of self-discovery can be painful. It can be tough to root out all words are thoughts and our emotions. We have to go back we have to stop with the words that come out of our mouths and work backward to the emotions that created them.

Without discovering your true self, you will not be able to realize your full potential. But once you start the step of self-awareness, you will begin to understand why you feel the way you do and how this causes your actions.

It’s essential for you to realize that just because you recognize that this person is you, it doesn’t mean you have to change it. As with everything in life the choice is yours. Having self-acceptance without judgment and without change is possible.

What Are  Your Core Values

I would say that working out your core values is the easiest and least painful way to start. It’s only difficult because they are unique to you. You cannot look at anybody else for inspiration or copy their values. They are your individual essence. These values guide your behavior and act as a moral compass.

Unfortunately, most of us are not aware of the things that are really valuable to us. Many of us have built our values around what society wants, or peer pressure wants, what social media wants.

We also inherit values from our culture. We’ve inherited them from our family friends and teachers. Not everybody questions these values.

What are core values and why are they important

Your core values is an eponymous term. They describe things at the very core of you your essence. They are your fundamental beliefs. They help you decide what is right and wrong for you. For instance, if you believe that you are an altruist, you shouldn’t be working in a company or corporation who values only profit.

Examples of core values

Core values are such things as a sense of responsibility, loyalty, compassion, courage, tolerance, reliability, open-mindedness, fairness and many more. Just reading them should give you the idea that these are big ideas.

Unfortunately, you can immediately see how this can be problematic. What you see is compassion and what your best friend sees as compassion could be two very very different things. These core values define you, but compassion may drive you to act in one way. Different interactions may make your best friend react in a completely different way.

The important thing is that we know our core values so they can motivate our life. Our values are the very formation the building blocks of our thoughts. They form an understanding of what we perceive to be the truth about life.

These ideas are then reinforced by feelings and emotions which can turn our perceptions into a passion. This is when the magic happens. This is when we achieve more synchronicity in life, and things flow much easier.

Everything is Energy

Everything is energy, and by committing ourselves to our core values, we emit energy. If you are thinking about loyalty or open-mindedness, then this will, in turn, attract personal success in like-minded people.

You can’t make informed choices without knowing what your core values are. Not understanding what you stand for is what causes a lot of tension and a lot of people’s lives. If we don’t know what’s essential in our life how can we live by those principles?

Most of us have it sometime agonized over the decision we have to make. Usually, this decision is only tricky because we have refused to acknowledge or made any attempt to understand our core values.

Once we have isolated the principles which are important to us, we can start to implement strategies to defend those principles. Once we have aligned ourselves to our core values we find all sorts of opportunities opening up for us.

You may well feel that you don’t receive everything you want in this life. The question is if you don’t uphold your values with 100% conviction then how can you get a 100% return. We have to hold ourselves accountable to our core values.

Accountability is a Core Belief

If you are not accountable, then you will always be almost happy, almost rich almost fulfilled, etc.

On the other hand, if we align ourselves fully to our values than they act like a magnet. They draw people to us with the same value.

We can maintain the high level of our energy because everyone around us has the same energy. Everybody’s energy levels do dip for lots of reasons. We may not be inspired because we are tired. But having people around us with the same energy prevents that dip. These people can help us work together as a team to achieve what we want.

In conclusion, isolating and identifying your core values is the same thing as identifying your passions. It’s about the things that are really important to you. The things that would create great tension in your life if you had to go against them.

This is so much more fulfilling than wasting time and energy on things that really are not important.

“Never let the things that matter to you the most, but the mercy of those people that don’t matter!”

Things can’t just happen to you if you take control and understanding yourself is the first step. Tomorrow I will discuss the ways that you can learn to isolate your core values and make your life easier.

Id, Ego, Superego

Id, Ego, Superego

What Is Ego?


What is ego?

My guess is if you any number of people what ego is?, You will get as many answers as people. To me, the ego is a protective mechanism.

It protects in many ways some of which are useful in some less so. It allows us to project to other people an appearance that we know what we are doing. We’ve got life sussed! Id, Ego, Superego are all words we understand for our benefit.

The dark side of the ego is that it constructs a false identity. Who and what we are is a combination of what we think, our abilities, our skills, personality, and our memories.

Ego hates to change it can only live in the now. It thinks is protecting us by creating this shower of negative thoughts, self-limiting thoughts. Because this will reinforce inertia, which the ego uses to keep us acting as we have always done.

These limiting thoughts can only define us if we let them. Having said that, the ego is smart. It can hide behind opinions we have held virtually all our lives all our lives and descriptions of ourselves we have heard all our lives!

The other downside of ego is it leaves a trail of emotional chaos in its wake! Feelings of resentment, indignation, and anger, the need to impress others and feelings of insecurity. The ego loves drama feeds on negative thoughts.

These negative thoughts stop us from progressing and stepping into our greatness. These beliefs are simply the structures of our ego. When we let these beliefs define us, we are allowing the ego to win.

The False Identity


Understanding the ego is problematic for two reasons. You can’t see it, and it is different and every person. It hides behind the curtain of opinions and thoughts we appear to think is true.

We all recognize the ego In other people. We can even tell what behavior it is masking. We’ve all been into her room and in that room is “the big I am.” The swaggering guy that has to project a massive sense of superiority onto everybody. We can see that by forcing his superiority onto everyone else, he thinks we won’t notice his insecurities.

Yet often we fail to see ego in our own personality and actions. If we want to develop as a person, it is essential that we take into account other people’s opinions. We need to understand inclusion rather than exclusion.

Ego tends to make us reject the opinions of others, and it restricts our vision so we cannot see anything other than our own thoughts and perceptions and limited beliefs.

One of the most deceptive aspects of an ego is that it generates powerful emotional reactions and then blames us how it made us feel. We often project anger which is the ego telling us we should feel right, we know better than someone else. We ignore this knowledge and then prevent personal growth.

The ego has to rely on the familiar it will do anything to prevent experiencing the unknown. It protects us by keeping us in our comfort zone. If we stray out of the area where we comfortable we may have to come from the, we not as terrific as we think we are. The ego thinks this is a scary concept.

Ego is an Unhealthy Attachment to Ourselves.

We make an active choice to allow ourselves to let the ego rulers. We resent the idea that any part of our thoughts is inferior to another. When faced with an opposing opinion we show negative emotions. We are either argumentative or angry or intimidating. We do what we have to do to subdue the ideas of others. This choice makes us weak. People who have real confidence do not have the problem to listen to the people.

People with real confidence allow their actions to speak for themselves. They don’t need to persuade people of their superiority. They don’t need to prove their ideas are better. Confident people don’t get threatened by teamwork and cooperation. They have no problem standing outside of their comfort zone because they know that they will fulfill whatever test they need to do.

They can listen to other people take into account what they have to say and are not threatened by it. It’s only when ego steps in that we fear what other people think about us.

That’s the difference ego leads us ultimately to pain and hurt, and confidence leads us to a peaceful existence.

Make the Choice – Drop Your Ego

The only real way to reduce the power of our egos is to let go. We are attached to our own opinions, and this is a dangerous state. No one should be so connected to anything they can’t let it go.

This doesn’t mean we disrespectful of our opinions! It says we’re open to the possibility of listening to new ideas and forming new opinions. We open our hearts to listen to others honestly and openly.

We can’t get rid of ego, but this openness transcends it. Often superior people have a sense of arrogance as well. Most people react to this with disrespect.

If you are as good as you think you are the world will see it anyway. That will resonate with this confidence because it brings peace.

Being confident will attract like-minded people and people who are attempting to reach your elevated position. People who are confident without being egotistical have a sense of joy and peace. They will attract other people who are joyful and peaceful. That will increase the synchronicity in their lives.

On the other hand, arrogant people will bring more arrogant people into their lives who will try to bring them down a peg or two.

Choose to Change

You can change your life at any time and in any way that you want to. However, you have to make a choice. Doing nothing or hoping that your life will get better will not achieve change.

This is why so few people make long-term change. It takes effort and commitment and energy. The thought of having a more abundant life is appealing to most people. The action of choosing to make that happen defeats a lot of people.

We need to become proactive. When we are reactive, we respond to other people’s tunes. We allow other people to be the puppet masters pulling strings.

To make an effective change, we need to let the ego go, pay very close attention to our thoughts and affirm that we have the power to change our lives.

Every day we have the option to make thousands of choices. In a lot of cases, we do not choose at all.

It’s also straightforward if we make a choice to have unreal expectations. We choose to be rich and one that doesn’t happen we think we made the wrong choice.

The unreal expectations generate a sense of fear, and we make fewer choices because we frightened of making the wrong decision.

Being proactive

Being proactive means, you take the choice to live your life to the full. You have made the steps to find out who you really are and you are confident standing tall.

Affirmations Self Esteem

Affirmations Self Esteem

Affirmations Self Esteem

Make Them Real

If you look around the Internet, you can see affirmations self-esteem almost everywhere you look. Yesterday, we discussed affirmations, in the sense that they are not manifestations.

There is, however, a way of changing your mindset as to how you feel about something. To do that your affirmations have to be true to you. It is best that you write or construct your own declarations rather than choose someone else’s.

When you speak these affirmations out loud, the timba of your voice has its own specific sound. If it’s not something you believe or want to think specifically, then nothing will happen.

I have chosen in this example to construct around affirmations self-esteem because everyone has self-esteem issues and limiting beliefs about self-worth.

Constructing an Affirmation Specifically for You

As we discussed yesterday, affirmations on their own are not a manifestation tool. They are a tool to change your mindset. As such, you have to believe what you are saying. Which is the reason why you should always construct your own affirmations?

For instance, if you Google self-esteem affirmations you will see thousands of examples. This morning I noticed a guy who was selling books of affirmations and the basis of those affirmations was completely him himwrong.Affirmations Self Esteem 2

One example was
“I can be worthy.”


My first question would be but when can you be worthy? Your affirmation should always be in the present tense. You don’t want to be changing your mindset in the year 2038!

My second question would be, worthy of what? It’s half a statement! It needs something to qualify.

My third point would be the words “I can be.” We can all be, but an affirmation should not contain the word can. It means maybe. To change the mindset you need to convince yourself you believe it.

A better example would be

“I feel worthy and blessed.”

Don't over Complicate Your Affirmations

A good affirmation should come from your heart. My first point of reference is to look at the problem.

For instance, let’s go back to yesterday’s example. I don’t exercise enough. I leave the house when I have absolutely nothing to eat. I I’m aware on logical level that I need to exercise and move more.

Now I can think about this problem until the cows come home and it won’t make me exercise. BUT, I want you to think about what it would feel to be without the problem. I hate exercise, but that’s not the problem.

My problem is I feel overweight and bloated and without energy. That is the real problem.

So not to have that problem then him I would feel that I am fit and healthy and my body moves fluidly. I imagine that my body is moving freely and easily.

Write down what you would feel if you could solve the problem. So I might write, I am healthy.

My body is nourished by eating healthy food and exercise.

I do a healthy amount of exercise regularly.

I feel good about myself and my body.

My body is strong and healthy and nourished.

My body is my servant, and it works hard to keep me fit and healthy.

You will notice that all of these statements refer to me because they begin with the word “I” or “my.” That makes it very clear I’m talking about my body and my health and not someone else’s.

Leave Anger and Judgment out of the Equation

I definitely don’t want to have any issues around anger. I don’t want to have the thought that I am angry at myself for being lazy.

Anger is another way of telling my body I hate IT! I don’t hate it; I just want to feel better.

My cells understand every thought I think. It’s important that they think that they are loved and cherished. To keep me in optimum health they need to know I deserve it. It is my birthright to be healthy.

My body knows how to heal itself, and I understand that. I feed it healthy food and drink. Good health comes from love, gratitude, and appreciation. It doesn’t come from beating yourself up for being lazy, or a couch potato, or being fat. I don’t want to feel like a victim, and it is my choice not to give my body what it deserves, i.e. exercise. My body reacts in terms of my posture, it’s ease or dis-ease.

Be Present and Positive with Your Affirmations.

When writing affirmations use present tense verbs. Examples are

I am healthy
My Exertions
I am feeling

You can get your affirmations so wrong. Affirmations self-esteem are about changing the way you think about yourself. When you believe you can manifest it. First, you have to believe it
I hear
My vision
I know
I look


The reason is it is in the present tense is that you don’t want affirmation to bring about a change sometime in the future. You need to change the way you feel about the statement now. It’s only when you believe the statement that you will be able to feel it and eventually manifest it.


Make sure that the word you describe the verb is emotive
I am grateful
I am happy
My health
I am inspired
I am thrilled

Don’t Forget the Senses

I am heard
I am comforted
I am cherished.

Affirmations Cheatsheet

1. Begin with “I” or “my”

2. Use a present tense verb

3. An adjective describes a verb. Make sure that your adjective is an inspiring and emotional rather than insipid.

4. Fill in the description of the results that you desire

Do Affirmations Change Limiting Beliefs?

Do Affirmations Change Limiting Beliefs?

How to Change Limiting Beliefs

Learning how to change limiting beliefs is one of the hardest lessons to learn during our spiritual growth. This is because, some of these limiting beliefs are so deeply held in our subconscious that were not even aware of their existence.

I Don't Wanna Do This Anymore!

I Don’t Wanna Do This Anymore!

Yesterday I was talking about making conscious choices. Everything about life is a choice yet so often we leave it to someone else to make a decision. By not deciding to make a choice we empower the people to take control of our lives.

I appreciate that very often this is the easiest option! However, it’s not the best option for you to grow and blossom as the perfect human being you were born to be.

Let’s say, you lose your job, through no fault of your room you are simply made redundant. Although, your first thought may well be “what can I do now?” The chances are this question will be filled with the blind panic. You are asking yourself the question from a place of fear.

The chances are you or someone else will come up with a suggestion. Most of the time when this happens we say to ourselves
“I can’t do that because…….. ”

“I can’t do this because………… ”

Most of us will continue in this negative vein until we run out of negative things to come up with. By this time was so full of fear, anger, anxiety, panic and depression we can think. We have begun to lose confidence in ourselves and our ability.

All of this crap which is developed into a single self-perpetuating vicious circle is because you chose to say the word “can’t.”

A kick up the Backside

Is One Thing, Beating Yourself Up is Another

It’s perfectly acceptable to give yourself a little kick up the backside every now and again! I often say to myself “I need to go out more.” This statement is a fact I really do need to get fresh air and exercise more often than I do. However, this is a different statement to something like “you lazy fat pig!

The first statement is a statement of fact, I leave home about once a month if I have to! The second is reinforcing a limiting belief. I must be clear I don’t have that limiting belief, but the statement itself would be reinforcing a limiting belief.

Interestingly enough I think you would never dream of course calling somebody a lazy fat pig. Yet, quite often we say things to ourselves using a language that we would never dream in a million years of using to someone else.

Do Affirmations Change Limiting Beliefs?

My answer to this question is twofold, they do, and they don’t. To make matters clearer, do affirmations change limiting beliefs? On their own no they don’t.

I understand this as a psychologist and a sentient being. Many self-help gurus say that affirmations work. Through my experience of studying psychology, I know they cannot possibly work because they target the conscious level of your mind.

Your subconscious stores all these limiting beliefs, they are not part of your conscious mind. Because your conscious mind never thinks of them or acknowledges them, you are often ignorant of their existence. The best you may know is they exist but will not know the source!

The reason this affirmation has no possibility of changing my relationship to exercise is that it creates an inner struggle. The statement is telling my conscious mind I need more exercise. This is a complete waste of time because my conscious mind is fully aware of this and I have absolutely no intention of changing! The struggle is between the fact I know I should change and my limiting belief.

The limiting belief I would guess is to do with self-worth. It means in some ways I do not believe that I am worthy or deserve to be fully fit. Because I understand that an affirmation isn’t going to change my inability to exercise I have never tried it.

The problem with Affirmations

When other people try affirmations where there is this dichotomy between the conscious and subconscious they start by being really positive. When no change takes place, most people become even more dispirited and feel even more useless later than the first place.

This means that the very act of affirmations is actually reinforcing a limiting self-belief. So while this is true, I also think there’s another point to take into account. An affirmation is not a reason to manifest the desire. If you looking at Affirmations in that way, then dream on. They are never going to manifest a desire.

On the other hand, affirmations can be a useful tool. They can be a helpful starting point to reprogram the way you think. For instance, my mother died at 86 years of age. She had never had a day’s illness in her life. She began every morning saying to herself “I feel great!”

Consequently, she did feel great most the time. On the rare time she had real aches and pains, she could live with them. The point I’m making is she didn’t dwell on the negativity of an ache or pain. Believing yourself is the ultimate goal of creating an affirmation.

To make affirmations work you have to believe it. So please don’t go scouring the Internet for other people’s affirmations. If they are not specific enough to your desires and they won’t work anyway simply because they don’t ring true.

Tomorrow we can look at the ways of how you can build a good affirmation for your intentions.

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Personal Power – Grab it Back

Personal Power – Grab it Back

Grabbing your Personal Power

Thought creation is a reality. A lot of people in your life will tell you that your fate is not in your control. If you believe you cannot control your own destiny, then you have given up your own power.

You have made it easy for the people to manipulate you. When people manipulate you, they create their own reality. Grab your power back because you have the freedom to choose.

There are lots of people you may be able to think of who have grown up in the worst of circumstances and have become well-known and elect respected figures. Almost against all odds, they changed their reality.

Focus on what you want

To make these changes a reality you have to focus on what you want. You do not want to be thinking this cannot happen or how will this happen just trust that it will happen.

On the other hand, you can create your reality from your memories. You do not come out of your comfort zone you stay in the ” What do I know best?” reality.

As you are reading this, you can make a conscious decision to change your personal universe. When our behaviors match our intentions, and our actions are what we think about there is immense power in our thoughts.

You can create your own little portion of heaven or your own corner in hell. The choice is yours.

Obviously, to control this power, you need to manage your thoughts. There will be no room in your life and negativity such as anger, jealousy, ego or

You Have All The Answers You Need

Inside of you are all the answers that you will ever need. You may not be able to tap into these answers or even know that they are there. You need the knowledge, tools, and wisdom to get what you want to be.

The first concept is you are an integral part of this universe and everything in it. You are an immensely powerful human being.

It may well be that your culture and your beliefs are reading this and thinking “not me, I don’t deserve any of this.”

So for the moment, you are as powerful as your perception allows you to be. But no matter how powerless and worthless you feel you are you can change this in an instant.

Ignite the Change

Most of us think about 50,000 thoughts per day. It only takes one of those thoughts to ignite the change that you are looking for It’s like we have created our own personal nuclear power plant in our head. We create chain reactions. One thought leads to another. Unfortunately, the second thought and the third door often qualifies the first thought. In other words, we think we might like to do something or want something, and then subsequent thoughts talk yourself out of it.

We are most frightened of is how powerful we are. If you don’t believe me read Marianne Williamson’s poem below.

Our Greatest Fear —Marianne Williamson

it is our light not our darkness that most frightens us

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other

people won’t feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of
God that is within us.It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

Most of us are afraid of the choice, that is making a choice. In fact, most of you reading this will go on to make a passive decision – the option of doing nothing.

Most of the time it’s the same three things that stop is moving forward.

Limiting Beliefs.

Thinking the same old thoughts every day.

Our perception of ourselves.

Who do you think you are?

Whatever you think, Is loaded with limited beliefs. The subconscious stores limited beliefs, and it holds on to them because it hates change. It will do everything in its power to keep you as you are.

To overcome the circumstantial evidence that you built about yourself you have to change the way you think. Once you change the way, you think you change your life.

It’s not an easy path to change you have to swallow your pride and get all your ego. You also have to really want to change. Removing your negative emotions, your fears, and your anger takes a lot of work.

Just when you think you have conquered this negativity, it pops up somewhere else. One of the reasons it keeps cropping up is the people and situations around you. These people surround us because our ego will not accept we have created the situation to draw these people to us

I have been fortunate to spend 16 years traveling the world. During that time I have come to appreciate that every human being is looking for the same thing. That same thing is happiness. Happiness is a choice rather than a condition.

Negativity is Your Comfort Blanket

If you wake up in the morning, and your thoughts are immediately negative. Then your day will be negative. Feeling sad, deprived and unhappy has become a habit.

You can’t seriously expect something to change in your life without changing your outward circumstances with a single thought. You do not have to be a victim of habitual thinking. However, it can be a hard slog to change that.

The first thing we need to do is make a conscious decision to abandon old habits. There are lots of habits you have in your life that no longer serve you and you need to let them go.

The second part is to create a conscious decision to make a new life and new thoughts.

It is our perception of our life that will determine how happy and joyful each day will be. Perception is the capacity to view things in their true or relative importance. The true or relative significance is important because it means we get to choose what is important.

J Martin Kohe

“The greatest power that a person possesses is the power to choose.”

Choice is all around us, and yet most the time we don’t do it consciously. Just think when you wake up in the morning and get out of bed and have a shower and clean your teeth and get dressed. How many choices do you make?

We decide whether to have an extra 10 seconds in bed, shall we clean our teeth first, so we shall first. You get the picture! The point I’m making is that most of us make these decisions on autopilot from habitual stands.

This reaction is one of the reasons why we have a perception of ourselves as powerless and unworthy. We are not conscious of our choices.

Everything we do in life is a choice.

Most of us understand that, but we failed to take into account the power of the choices we don’t make. That is the choices of things not to do.

Don’t get me wrong; there are many times in life when doing nothing is the best course of action. That’s one thing though choosing to do nothing. Not doing anything out of fear or from a place of fear is a different decision entirely.

To change things you need a single thought which is a choice in the single-action which is a choice.

For instance, if you just lost your job through no fault of your own, there are several ways of looking at the situation.

The first is looking at it, but it’s not your fault you didn’t do anything and everything that always happens to you. The outcome of this sort is the more negative things are going to happen to you because this is the thought you are holding and resisting.

The second choice is that you’re looking outwards onto a whole field of possibilities. You can see grass growing in the field. At the edges you can see wildflowers. You can see butterflies and insects flying around. What you do first is up to you. You can gaze at the butterflies, or you can walk on the grass, or you can pick some flowers.

The second option is far more expansive it gives you possibilities. Changing your thoughts immediately is not easy, but you have to take control of it sometime if you want some change. What’s wrong with today?

Understanding Ourseves Is Vital For Human Growth

Understanding Ourseves Is Vital For Human Growth

Understanding Ourseves.

All permanent growth, personal growth, in my opinion, comes from knowing and understanding ourselves. I believe that if we don’t truly understand ourselves that we can’t really understand external events and physical things. We are always drawn into negative actions and get attached to things. If we don’t understand ourselves then we can’t possibly understand others.

Drawing back this curtain of self-deception is undoubtedly not an easy thing to do especially when you first start. Not only is it difficult, but it is also painful because we have to expose ourselves to the misconceptions we have about ourselves. In fact, many people may well ask why would anyone bother to do it– surely we are better staying in our comfort zones.

I would say that understanding our true natures means giving up destructive emotions and also eventually giving up the pain. Pain is not a necessary emotion we have to feel to experience life to the full. However, to get past the feeling of pain, we do have to come out of our comfort zone!

In three weeks time, it will be 100 years to the minute on the 11th of the 11th 2018 since the first world war ended. I grew up in the 50s with the description that this was a war to end all wars. Yet it seems to me 60 years later that we are no nearer to peace than we were then.

When I was a child, it was a very different world I understand that not everyone had a television nor a car. Yet it seems to me we lived in a world where we felt safe. I grew with children who didn’t fear! Today when I watched children I believe that they have a deep-seated sense of fear. I am not sure they even know what their concern is about but that sense of dread in itself is worrying for the future of humanity.

We Can’t Live With Fear and Be Happy

It strikes me that happiness itself has mental and physical aspects. It is a combination of inner peace, security, economic viability, and world peace. Establishing these ideals should be a collective responsibility. Wherever we live, where ever we come from, wherever we were born, whatever religion we practice or don’t practice, we all want to be happy. We all want the same thing. We don’t wish to suffer for ourselves or our loved ones.

We shouldn’t settle to watch suffering on any level. Not every one of us can be born a human. It is a choice that we make. An opportunity to live and experience the world with bodies. Everyone on the planet faces the same collective problems, and we should be looking to secure peace collectively.

The First Step Is Forgiveness

My most significant achievement so far in my own personal growth is to open up my heart and forgive. I have forgiven anyone who has ever harmed myself or my family. Forgiveness itself is cathartic. I have found; personally, it has opened up my heart, and I am much more compassionate towards every living thing.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean that I’ve accepted other people’s actions as being okay. I can’t change those actions. Indeed, forgiveness doesn’t mean I’m saying that I condone their actions. It just means I have let go of the right to judge those actions. If we can’t forgive other people, then the resulting hatred and bitterness and anger consume us all.

I was honestly making myself ill by judging others. It doesn’t mean I even have to see the people I have forgiven. The very act of forgiveness brings a feeling of peace in itself. I am not wasting any negative energy or in fact any energy deciding how I think about it. Letting go of the emotion is enough. I can live in harmony with the people I forgave without having to see them. In fact there is no reason why our lives should ever have to cross again.

That means in this life and in future lives. Hopefully, it says I have literally learned my lesson. When we see things wrong in other people, or we see things that irritate us, we are looking at mirror images of ourselves. We are each other! I am the same is my brothers and sisters we are all one.

Those that know me to know that I am not a religious person I do not believe in a God. Nonetheless, I do have tremendous sympathy with the Buddhist philosophy that all our troubles stem from an attachment to things we think are permanent.

In the pursuit of our own happiness, we can be aggressive and competitive with our fellow human beings. We think that just because we have the money to pay for human resources such as water, fresh air, and any material thing that we want that it is okay to have them.

Although there are a lot of people think about their human footprint on this earth there are many many more that don’t. People who think they can have anything that they want and squander resources are ignorant of life as it really is. The relentless pursuit of individual materialism is inhuman.

The humane antidote is unconditional love. You may well think that you love your close family unconditionally. Often you don’t, and the love is based on attachment rather than altruism. We need to foster a sense of natural and unlimited love and compassion towards everyone, including those who have done you harm or even great harm.

All of us can realize that at the beginning of life when we are young, we are dependent on the love and compassion of others. We need our mothers to breastfeed us, or someone to feed us. Many of us as we age will require kindness and compassion from other people to survive. That may be our families, and that may be other people who simply care. In my world, it is inconceivable that if we can see that we need people at the beginning and end of our lives that we can ignore people in our middle years.

We are all born compassionate and altruistic it is an innate human characteristic. That means that we are born with that ability. Of course, it is very pragmatic in the days when we had smaller tribal families it was a matter of survival. We helped other people to survive because even if our descendants didn’t survive our brothers and sisters descendants might do so.

In other words, the family will go on. Because we are born with that sense of compassion, it is one of the reasons why compassionate acts rarely hit the headlines. We see every night acts of violence on the television or read about them in the newspaper. That is because these acts are truly shocking to our very nature.

When we can separate ourselves from the judgment of all things and lose our sense of attachment we can look at life with a clear mind. When we cloud our minds with hatred, anger, jealousy and any other negative emotion we’ve already lost. We lost control of ourselves and also of our judgments. In those irrational moments, anything can happen including war and murder. Which is why we must strip back our nature so we can understand ourselves and every other human being on this planet. Very shortly in the future, our very survival as humans may well depend