Personal Core Values Refined
Yesterday we discussed how to start to identify your core values. Personal core values refined is part of a discussion which began with an explanation of our ego and has gone on on a daily basis since.
Look at the two columns, the importance of the value and the actual level that you practice it in your everyday life. Write about five sentences about the discrepancy between the two numbers.
Identifying this discrepancy is the first step to rediscover your core values. You have always had core values even if the knowledge of them is buried deep inside yourself. You may have forgotten or are not aware they exist. They have always existed. The ethical thing to do is to isolate your core values and to integrate them with your everyday actions.
Your core values will help you in every aspect of your everyday choices.
Look at the differences you have written above and think about the differences. If the difference is merely one point or even two points, then you can work towards it. It’s more than this then it is unlikely to make a reasonable core value.
Narrow down the core values to 5 different values. Lay the list aside for 24 hours and then come back to it. Think of the three core values that would make you sick to the stomach if you contradict the principles behind them.
Once you have done this, you need to verify if these are the correct core values. Ask yourself the following questions.
1. Conscious Choice
Do I consciously choose these beliefs after careful consideration of what the words mean? Have I looked up the definition in either an online dictionary or a dictionary?
2. Have I Considered the Alternatives?
Have I carefully considered the alternatives before rejecting them. Those that I have dismissed have I done so out of laziness?
3. Am I Prepared to Honour These Beliefs?
Are you happy with the choices you have made and feel that you have made these choices freely with adequate consideration?
4. Am I Willing to Publicly Affirm These Values
Am I secure enough in these values, to stand up and declare that I live by these rules?
5. Am I Ready to Live by These Beliefs?
Not only am I prepared to live with these beliefs but am I ready to act on these beliefs to change the way I live my life. These beliefs will become my values and need to be repeated consistently on a daily basis.
Finally, write down these values. These are the values you are prepared to live by and the values that will give you fulfillment in life. In fact, you may find living by these values will provide you with the only true fulfillment.
Fulfillment is defined here as achieving our deepest desires and fully realizing our potential. As I mentioned a few days ago after years of angst, I realized I was frightened of fulfilling my full potential.
By our own efforts
We create a sense of purpose for ourselves and having worked out that this is my greatest fear, the fear literally fell away. In fact, it is ridiculous to think that I may be frightened of fulfilling my potential.
We all want to fulfill who we really are without fear or a sense of hopelessness, or unworthiness or powerlessness. Some lucky people will achieve this in their 20s, but it is never too late. A lot of people go through life without change and staying in their comfort zone. Eventually, the pain of staying what you are will motivate you to realize that you are not satisfied with the status quo.
You have probably known this fact for a long time and have had the sense of dissatisfaction for ages. However, there is a difference knowing that something is wrong and having the courage to do something about it.
Eventually, most of us realize that to search for our own meaning we have to look deep within ourselves. This internal retrospection motivates us ultimately to make those changes necessary. Don’t beat yourself up if this process has taken years. It took years for me. You may know people who achieved it in days weeks or months. So what? This is your journey and no one else’s.
You have all the time in the world. Time is not your problem. To achieve your full potential, you need to bring balance into your life.
Looking inside yourself creates balance. Aspects you are searching for personal growth, learning, being healthy and also spiritualism. Developing insights into these areas all come from looking inwards.
Your ego will always force you to look outwards for satisfaction.
This journey is not a race against time or anything else. It is your journey, and in or respects it has been going on since the beginning of time and will continue indefinitely.
You have all the time you need to achieve your full potential. Your biggest enemy will be your ego. The ego always wants you to look externally for your satisfaction in life. It is trying to protect you, but it doesn’t live in the present. It cannot know that the things it is trying to protect you from more important when you were a child but are not necessarily important now.
It doesn’t want us to face our limiting beliefs or habitual thinking patterns, because in doing so it will force us to change our perspective on life. We would have to accept responsibility for all our actions.
Once you take this step the power of the ego will be reduced, and it will in time become redundant. Don’t make the mistake of ever thinking you can get rid of ego; you can’t it is part of your personality. However, you can minimize its importance.
The results of looking inwards ultimately mean that we feel joy, unconditional love, and gratitude for the life we lead. Because we have expanded our potential in the way, we think we are more open to new ideas and challenges. It is this falling away from limiting beliefs and opening our hearts that will allow us to fulfill our full potential.